We've been struggling with this as well. We are clearly ADHD, and our memory recording is a little janky, but it's hard to tell what comes from trauma vs ADHD vs parts of the memory being held by different members. And it's hard to know what's worth detangling.
There are events I clearly remember with no emotions attached. One time it turned out there was a part holding a wall of emotion, acting as a dam. The rest of us remembered the circumstances around the event, but one day we were suddenly hit by this massive, uncontrollable wave of emotion that we previously assumed we had already processed. I've come to understand that as a subtle form of dissociative amnesia. The emotions were cut off from the scene, compartmentalized, so the rest of us could carry on with a clear sequence of events.
But sometimes I set something down, and nobody makes note of where I set the thing down, and the memory is just lost, and then I can't find my phone for an hour. Is that ADHD? The lasting effects of trauma? Both? Does it matter?
We have yet to find any obvious big gaps in our sequential memory, but it's always been like a threadbare sheet. It's not always obvious where it's thin until you can stick a finger through it, and I'm hesitant to rip anything.
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Date: 13 Dec 2024 16:33 (UTC)We've been struggling with this as well. We are clearly ADHD, and our memory recording is a little janky, but it's hard to tell what comes from trauma vs ADHD vs parts of the memory being held by different members. And it's hard to know what's worth detangling.
There are events I clearly remember with no emotions attached. One time it turned out there was a part holding a wall of emotion, acting as a dam. The rest of us remembered the circumstances around the event, but one day we were suddenly hit by this massive, uncontrollable wave of emotion that we previously assumed we had already processed. I've come to understand that as a subtle form of dissociative amnesia. The emotions were cut off from the scene, compartmentalized, so the rest of us could carry on with a clear sequence of events.
But sometimes I set something down, and nobody makes note of where I set the thing down, and the memory is just lost, and then I can't find my phone for an hour. Is that ADHD? The lasting effects of trauma? Both? Does it matter?
We have yet to find any obvious big gaps in our sequential memory, but it's always been like a threadbare sheet. It's not always obvious where it's thin until you can stick a finger through it, and I'm hesitant to rip anything.
Commiseration and best of luck.
--Merlin (&Paul?)