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pheonix_systemSomewhat recently, we started therapy to work though trauma. When we started, we didn't think we were experiencing any amnesia, but as we've been working through things, we've begun to wonder if that's true. It doesn't feel like we're losing time, but it does feel like we aren't remembering as much as we should be able to. Justin did some searching, trying to find things that talked about experiences with dissociative amnesia, but we struggle a lot with understanding the examples that are listed.
One of the ones we've seen mentioned repeatedly is "You don't remember important events, like your wedding day." This doesn't apply to us at all. For one, if we do have amnesia, then it's a lot more subtle than these sort of examples are listing, and for another we've never been married, and it's unclear whether the 'important event' needs to be of equal level of "big deal" as a wedding, or if that was just an example chosen because it's unusual to not remember something like that.
Another thing which is adding to the confusion is that it's possible we have ADHD, which we know can cause forgetfulness. We're struggling to figure out what might fall under what.
We'd be very appreciative of any system who was willing to share their stories of how you discovered you were experiencing amnesia, especially if you also have ADHD or a similar condition which can cause forgetfulness!
Thank you for reading.
--Skye
One of the ones we've seen mentioned repeatedly is "You don't remember important events, like your wedding day." This doesn't apply to us at all. For one, if we do have amnesia, then it's a lot more subtle than these sort of examples are listing, and for another we've never been married, and it's unclear whether the 'important event' needs to be of equal level of "big deal" as a wedding, or if that was just an example chosen because it's unusual to not remember something like that.
Another thing which is adding to the confusion is that it's possible we have ADHD, which we know can cause forgetfulness. We're struggling to figure out what might fall under what.
We'd be very appreciative of any system who was willing to share their stories of how you discovered you were experiencing amnesia, especially if you also have ADHD or a similar condition which can cause forgetfulness!
Thank you for reading.
--Skye
no subject
Date: 1 Dec 2024 19:34 (UTC)In our case, it'd been pretty common knowledge for years that we would have information of events, but the emotions and context of them would be missing. (So, for instance, if something terrible happened to us, we would understand that this had happened and be able to recite the rough series of events to you... but the emotions would be either completely missing or so deranged and intense as to make it impossible to focus on. More often, we'd be unable to put pieces together like, "for such-and-such bad thing to happen, these OTHER things must have also happened, which also are kinda horrifying.")
For us, the big clincher, the thing that unraveled the whole sock, was that we KNEW a certain one of us was dead, but none of us could really say how we knew, or exactly when or why it happened. Digging around in records only reminded us oh hey, we went on a road trip with the relative that we knew was a child molester. (And had never been able to reason through the natural question of, "Why were we sent on this trip when the people doing the sending KNEW this about him?") When questioning other relatives, one said something like, "Oh yes, I remember that! It was so weird, y'all had to sleep in the car together, don't you remember?"
We did not. And that's when we realized that something had gone horribly wrong.
no subject
Date: 13 Dec 2024 16:33 (UTC)We've been struggling with this as well. We are clearly ADHD, and our memory recording is a little janky, but it's hard to tell what comes from trauma vs ADHD vs parts of the memory being held by different members. And it's hard to know what's worth detangling.
There are events I clearly remember with no emotions attached. One time it turned out there was a part holding a wall of emotion, acting as a dam. The rest of us remembered the circumstances around the event, but one day we were suddenly hit by this massive, uncontrollable wave of emotion that we previously assumed we had already processed. I've come to understand that as a subtle form of dissociative amnesia. The emotions were cut off from the scene, compartmentalized, so the rest of us could carry on with a clear sequence of events.
But sometimes I set something down, and nobody makes note of where I set the thing down, and the memory is just lost, and then I can't find my phone for an hour. Is that ADHD? The lasting effects of trauma? Both? Does it matter?
We have yet to find any obvious big gaps in our sequential memory, but it's always been like a threadbare sheet. It's not always obvious where it's thin until you can stick a finger through it, and I'm hesitant to rip anything.
Commiseration and best of luck.
--Merlin (&Paul?)